To N that I spoke to today, I really hope you go far. You talked about your hopes and dreams, your past as an interpreter with the US army, away from home just at age 17 after skipping a grade, and how you posted all over Facebook that you made it to America. Your friends couldn’t believe it. After you left, your mom didn’t sleep for two nights — the time it took for you to get from Kabul, Dubai, Frankfurt, Newark, and now Maryland.
Kabul’s still bad but you see so much here in America. You watched a lot of American movies and haha you feel like your life right now is exactly like one. It’d been 4 days since you got here and you visited your friend in southern virginia and came all the way back by yourself, just because you felt like getting lost and finding your way back again. You researched colleges and can’t wait to go forward. Hell, with your perfect English you’d go far. You’re so organized and willing and ready. We’re the same age and I can honestly say as a fellow young eager career-driven twentysomething, please don’t give up. Because you might feel so happy and hopeful right now but it’s not the easiest. I was happy that you were happy but I don’t know I couldn’t stop thinking of all the challenges and barriers you’ll have to overcome because getting work wasn’t easy for me either. And I was born here.
But you’re not naive to difficulty. You spoke with such realness about how hard your home is. That’s just me selfishly obsessing over the bad, wishing I could control it, instead of seeing how much you want to and will succeed. I wish you the best and look forward to seeing you grow. I’m glad we shared that bus ride
I asked the Lord that I might grow
In faith, and love, and every grace;
Might more of His salvation know,
And seek, more earnestly, His face.
’Twas He who taught me thus to pray,
And He, I trust, has answered prayer!
But it has been in such a way,
As almost drove me to despair.
I hoped that in some favored hour,
At once He’d answer my request;
And by His love’s constraining pow’r,
Subdue my sins, and give me rest.
Instead of this, He made me feel
The hidden evils of my heart;
And let the angry pow’rs of hell
Assault my soul in every part.
Yea more, with His own hand He seemed
Intent to aggravate my woe;
Crossed all the fair designs I schemed,
Blasted my gourds, and laid me low.
Lord, why is this, I trembling cried,
Wilt thou pursue thy worm to death?
“’Tis in this way, the Lord replied,
I answer prayer for grace and faith.
These inward trials I employ,
From self, and pride, to set thee free;
And break thy schemes of earthly joy,
That thou may’st find thy all in Me.”
it has been a hell of a day. life is fragile. i showed up at their apartment, a new rwandan family of 7- a mom and her 6 kids. it was supposed to be a simple escort to the office. where’s your mom? she’s at the hospital with our sister. confused exchanges and phone calls with her friends in kinyarwanda and me and the oldest are off to get them at the hospital. it’s only been a week and they don’t speak english. they don’t know how to get home. there’s no record of her at this hospital. we’re at the wrong one. buses later into the city and we finally make it. i’d never been to a children’s hospital before, but everything’s bright and colorful and tailored to kids. i can see why they came here. A is hooked up to wires when we come in. scarlet fever, strep throat. welcome to winter in the US 101. social worker, nurse, doctor, and me, we all call the office to tell them what went down. mom didn’t randomly decide to ditch her appointment with our office today; she came and slept there with her daughter since last night. she’s going to be ok. we thank them and are discharged. we make it back to the office as the day ends as does the battery life on my phone, which i had used furiously to make our way around. after they met with us, they went home on the bus, by themselves for the first time (they’d been shown how other times). who knows how that went. i guess we’ll find out as we see them throughout their transition phase. then they’ll spend the rest of their lives here. the young ones will grow up american. the older ones will grow up to have first generation kids like me. it’s weird to see what my parents used to be as current kids my own age. and how their kids will have no idea what they really went thru cuz they (the kids) were just born into it. made me think today